To Those in Need of Love
by Midnight Circus
Summary: Someone has decided that Ryoma has gone too long without a girlfriend, and has sent someone else to help him find one. Only that it wasn't a girl.  Fuji Ryoma
1. Chapter 1

Hola mis amigos.

Ohmygosh I'm been taking it for two years and it's still the only phrase I can say off the bat.

Haha, hope you enjoy this kind of weird but kind of not story.

Had the idea in my head because … of circumstances. Oh and Ryoga is just an OC with his name, I guess? Yeah… Did include some stuff…

Enjoy!

* * *

Ryoma sat under the tree, tennis things to his right, Fanta to his left. Ah, his life was complete.

Oh who was he kidding. He snatched the cap off his head ferociously and fanned himself. Optimism was not working for him at all.

Sitting in the shade, he had the perfect view of his senpai playing tennis again. The way he executed his moves so gracefully was just a few notches short of magical.

He wanted to know how to do Higuma Otoshi. He had to know at least one of the countless counters Fuji had. And the ones he had yet to develop. But the tensai had never performed one before him, was it because he had no skill? Or was it because he had too much?

He'd like to think he had too much.

Eyes still fixed on the slender moving figure on the court, his left hand moved to pick up his Fanta. Just in case he did some counter in the second he was looking away.

His can was gone.

He pat the grassy area to his left, this couldn't be right. He had bought the Fanta this time, so no one should…

He turned around. The Fanta can was indeed not present. But there was a hand. Then a sleeve. Then a shoulder. Then a face.

He could have fainted if he was anything less than an Echizen.

"Yo." His doppelganger said, "Nice day to be sitting under a tree."

"Very…" his eyes were popping out of his head as he realized that it probably wasn't a wax sculpture. Was he even famous enough for one? He probably was.

"Do you mind letting go of my hand now?" Ryoma squeezed the said hand tighter, just to prove that this wasn't an apparition.

"Who are you?" Ryoma asked, in shocked suspicion, not caring how rude he probably sounded.

The not so stranger laughed, and raised a Fanta can_, His_ Fanta can, and drank.

Ryoma twitched.

"I," The stranger announced importantly, "am whoever you want me to be."

"Be more specific."

The person laughed again, "I am a product of your imagination, I can be whoever you want me to be."

"Meaning.." Ryoma said slowly, still wondering if his mother had had a twin without his notice.

"My, not very bright are we?" The person put the can down.

"Well, Echizen Ryoma, I was sent by a higher power," the stranger verbalized, as if speaking to a three year old, "because he thinks, that as a Japanese highschooler, you should already have a potential mate."

"Mate. I'm sixteen."

"Partner, or in modern terms… Girlfriend?"

"I don't happen to be interested, thank you very much, now if you might excuse me, could I have my drink back?" He held out his hand, only to receive an empty can.

The stranger grinned sheepishly, "it was very tasty, if it is of any consolation."

"Don't talk to me."

"Unfortunately for you, I have to. You see, It is customary for most healthy males your age to already have a potential love interest, and since you are male, and healthy, it is only right that—"

"I'm leaving." He picked up his bag and aimed the can into a nearby trash bin.

"Hey! Wait! Sorry. It's my first job, I'm a bit nervous."

"Job?"

"Well, as you would put it… Matchmaker? Cupid?"

"I was under the impression that they were little babies in diapers with wings and heart arrows."

"Don't group me with those annoying cherubs."

"Well, you can go back to your _higher power_, and tell him that I am perfectly happy with my current position."

"So you're telling me to just fail my first job?"

"If that's what it is, go for it."

"I can't! I don't want to spend the rest of my immortal life sweeping the palace backyard!" his clone sobbed pitifully.

Ryoma couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Probably because the person was an exact replica of himself. In any case…

"Okay then, tell me what I have to do."

Instantly brightening, the doppelganger grinned, "All you have to do, is get yourself a lover within thirty days."

"Thirty days. That's impossible."

"Actually you don't have to do thirty days, it's just that, if it's within a month, I get a special reward."

"Uh huh… Well, something more possible that I can do right now."

"Name me! It signifies that I am your cupid right now and I have the right to do anything to get you together with your selected love interest."

"Just a name?"

"Just a name." the person confirmed.

"Well, how about… Ryoga."

"Ryoga… Echizen Ryoga? Am I supposed to be related to you?"

"Well, you do look kind of like me, so I'm saying yes."

"But… how am I supposed to do my job if I am a family member?"

"Why can't you."

"In tactic 00135, it says that the cupid can act as a lover to incite a certain amount of jealousy within the selected love interest, to further—"

"Then why the hell do you look exactly like me?"

"Well… it was kind of an accident…" Ryoga scratched his head, "it _is _my first job. And I can't do transformations too well."

"Okay then—"

"AHHH! LOOK THERE ARE TWO OCHIBI'S NYA!" Eiji stood frozen to the spot pointing one quivering arm to Ryoma.

"Eiji, stop shouting, what do you mean there are…"

"ECHIZEN? Why are there two of you?" Momo yelled.

"Shut it you peach, are you halluci— Fshuuuuu"

"Saa…"

Slowly the entire team gathered around the tree, which suddenly became the most densely populated area in the whole of Japan.

"Uhh… hi! Everyone!" Ryoga started, nervously waving.

Ryoma rolled his eyes and fixed the cap back onto his head, "Hello, this is my twin brother, Ryoga, he just came from America."

"OOH! Is he going to school here?"

_Hey, I'm not enrolled._

_What the hell are you doing in my head._

_Twin telepathy._

_We're not twins!_

_Eh? But you just said…_

"No… he's just on vacation."

"Echizen, I am very confused, why hasn't all my data on you included this brother of yours?" Inui flipped through his notebook madly.

"That's because…" Ryoma struggled to find a watertight explanation.

"That's because I was stranded on a desert island the moment I was born!" Ryoga said triumphantly.

That had just got to be the spongiest one ever.

"Uh.. Ha ha ha, Ryoga, very funny. Maybe you just haven't searched thoroughly enough, Inui-senpai."

"My data… is flawed?"

"I guess so."

Inui walked off, overcome by this outrageous suggestion, mumbling something about collecting more data under his breath.

"So, Echizen, do you play tennis as well?"

"Umm…" Ryoga looked to Ryoma for an answer, which the latter promptly gave.

"No, not at all."

"Oh, that's too bad then, I was hoping we could have a match sometime" the tensai smiled brightly and headed towards the changing rooms.

"Uh, Ryoma?"

"Yes?"

"Is it just me…"

"No, it's not just you."

"Good."

* * *

"So," Ryoga started the conversation as they walked back to Ryoma's temple-home, "Found anyone yet?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you were supposed to choose someone within 3 days. That's the rule."

"The rule?"

"It's in the book, it has to be a rule. So, anyone? I saw that girl, on the girls' tennis team. Long hair. She was pretty cute."

"There are plenty of girls on the tennis team with long hair."

"Exactly, so who?"

"What makes you think I want someone on the tennis team with long hair?"

"Well, it says so here, that humans tend to take an interest towards those with similar interests as them, most of the time."

"This isn't one of those times then. What about the long hair?"

"That wasn't referring to a single person in question. If that person is the first that pops into your mind after some vague features, it says so here, that it is more likely for things to work out."

"Could you stop referring to this like it's some sort of homework assignment?"

"Technically, it is. Well, does any face pop out?"

Ryoma thought deeply, he frowned, "Define long hair."

"Huh?"

"Does it have to be really long, like to the waist, or is to the shoulder considered long, or does it just have to be longer than mine?"

"Uh, never mind, obviously that doesn't fit anyone. Well, have you thought of anyone else yet?"

"Do you have to ask? No."

Ryoga sighed in dejection, flipping through the handbook once more, "Well, that person with the glasses was nice."

"You mean Tezuka-buchou? No way."

"No, I mean the female one. Hey, we're talking about love interests here, are you sure we're on the same page?"

"Of course we're on the same page. It's just that Tezuka is the only person I know who wears glasses, apart from Inui… and that girl from the third class, but she's so annoying.

"Ah. So… moving on… what about the girl with brownish hair, she was pretty enough?"

"You mean Fuji-senpai? Oh, everyone thinks he's a girl at first, trust me. But he's a guy."

"No, I meant the girl in your class, with the hair like that," Ryoga held his hands to his head and grabbed a few tufts of hair in demonstration.

"Okay, okay, you can stop that now, it's still creepy to see myself do things."

"Right… that wasn't it either, what about the girl with the hair like that, shortish longish but straightish but still sort of curled."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Okay, like that." He put his palms face down towards his shoulder and drew the shape of this hair.

"Ah! That one is Fuji-senpai, I told you, everyone mistakes him for a girl."

"No, I was talking about the one called… the one who was with the loud guy."

"Momo?"

"Yeah, he has purple hair, yes?"

"Yes."

"So, what about her?"

"What about who?"

"Never mind."

Ryoga was almost in despair. He had heard the job was hard, but never _this_ hard.

Or maybe it was just because this guy was so damn clueless.

"Hey, you want to play some tennis?"

"Hitting a ball around with that net-on-a-stick? No thank yooo."

"Come on, it'll be interesting, I'll teach you."

"Are you always this annoying, because then, I know why there aren't any girls after you."

"Hey, normally I don't brag about this, but I've got an entire fan club after me. _Un_fortunately."

Fanclub? Now he was getting somewhere.

"So, do you know anyone?"

"Not really, they just run away whenever I look at them, it's pretty funny actually."

Hopes dashed all over again, Ryoga followed Ryoma glumly.

"This is where I live, I wonder if we can fool dad for a while."

"Huh?"

"I'll try." Ryoma rang the doorbell, jumping out of the way to the left of the door.

"Now, you stand here." Ryoga was positioned in front of the double doors, "And wait."

"Seishounen! Come in! I have a surprise for you!" Nanjiroh grabbed Ryoga-as-Ryoma by the shoulders and pulled him into the property.

"Hey. Hey! Oi! Wait! Put me down!"

"No way, I'm not letting you run away this time." Poor Ryoga was slung over Nanjiroh's shoulders like a sack.

"Okay, you go to your room and change. Don't even think about getting out the window, because I've locked it. And, the one in the toilet as well, and, I've nailed in the vent, so you just be a good boy and listen to your dad, okay?"

Nanjiroh closed the door, looking quite pleased with his foresight.

"Hey, Baka-oyaji. What are you doing in my room?"

The smile faded off the old samurai's face as he caught sight of his son, whom he had just locked in his room, out in the corridor. Smirk creeping its way up his lips, Ryoma threw open the doors to his bedroom.

"Hey dad, say hi to Ryoga!"

"Oh my god." There was a thud as the Samurai's limp body collided with the ground.

* * *

"Come to think of it, who was the girl were you going to make me meet?"

"You knew, didn't you." It was more of a statement than a question, which Nanjiroh offered moodily.

"Of course I knew. I marked off every Friday as O miai day. I specifically asked Ryuuzaki-sensei to schedule my practices on Fridays, but nooo, you still went ahead with it."

"That's not nice Ryoma, you know I just want the best for you."

"Thank you, Dobby."

"What? Yuki was such a sweet girl too."

"Sweet? You mean sexy, curvaceous, voluptuous, scandalous, slu—"

"Hey! Is that the kind of person you think your dear father is?"

"Yes. And I say that with confidence."

"That's not nice, not nice at all."

"Uh, where do I fit in in this conversation?" Ryoga crouched down beside Nanjiroh on the rug.

"And Ryoma, I just want to know, who is this person and why does he look exactly like you, after I force you to wash up." He added as an after thought

"Well basically some guy up there thought I was in serious need of a partner, and… he sent him, and… he is supposed to help me find one, and he made a mistake with transformation, and… he doesn't want to fail his job."

"Wait, you mean he's going to help you find a girlfriend?" Just like him, selective hearing.

"Not going to happen, but he'll be nice to have around."

"Boy," Nanjiroh clapped Ryoga on the shoulder, "If you manage to get him a girlfriend, you can stay here as long as you want."

"Uh, thanks?"

"Welcome. Anyone will be welcome at my home if they can find Ryoma a pretty girl." He looked up to the ceiling fan in passion, "Now you, Ryoma, go follow your brother's example and brush your hair. NOW. And Ryoga, make yourself at home, do you want to share a room with Ryoma?"

"Okay, sure dad!"

"BROTHER? DAD? WHAT THE HELL?"

"Don't worry Ryoma, he's just joking, I'm sure. I was."

"Oh you don't know my dad, he's serious."

"Hm, I wonder why I was sent down when you have your dad to do the job already."

"Obviously because he's not doing a very good job about it. Now, how about that tennis match…"

"From what I've gathered, you just returned home from tennis practice, are you sure you want to—"

"One can never get too much tennis, come on, I'll show you." He pulled his new brother up by the wrist.

"Be GENTLE!"

* * *

"Okay, here is the serve, you throw it up, and you hit it." Ryoma demonstrated a normal serve slowly, allowing it to hit the net and roll back to him, "now you try."

"Like this?" He hit the ball. Ryoma just barely dodged the ball flying at his face.

There was an awkward pause as Ryoma stared, open mouthed, at his twin, while Ryoga frowned at the racquet, wondering why the ball hadn't had the same path as the one Ryoma had hit.

"It took me one week to learn that. How did you do it?" He ran towards Ryoga's side of the court, looking at him from head to toe and back again.

"I dunno. I was trying to copy what you did just now and suddenly. BOOM! It just happened. I swear I wasn't aiming to hit you."

"Nonono, not that, wait, try it again. I want to see.

Ryoga hit another ball, still a bit confused.

"Twist serve." Ryoma whispered to himself.

"You see? I goes the sa—"

"Wait! Do it again, but hit the ball from the side."

"Like this?"

"Yes, you just have to, drop the racquet by this much, okay?" He held out the measurement between his forefinger and thumb.

"Okay… but I don't know where you're going with thi—" Ryoma had already sprinted to his side of the court.

"I'm serving now!"

"This much, right?"

"Yes!" the word was almost shouted in exasperation, just lower it down, and hit it."

A serve. Ryoga followed his given instructions, lowered the racquet, the given amount, closed his eyes, prayed that the ball wouldn't land anywhere near his face, and hit the ball whizzing towards him.

No sound. Ryoga opened his eyes, and Ryoma was jumping on his side of the court in as much excitement as a little kid learning that santa was real.

"Drop shot! Yes!" He punched his fist into the air. (A/N sorry, super out of character)

"Huh?"

"Ryoga, how would you like to come with me to practice tomorrow?"

* * *

"Are you sure this is okay?"

"Just don't mess things up."

"And how am I supposed to do that."

"You think of ideas yourself." Ryoma pulled his cap lower, "You ready?"

"No!"

"Too bad then."

After pulling his cupid-twin out from bed and dragging him to school, Ryoma was feeling quite irritated with the world, yet similarly eager to show his senpai this new development.

"Buchou, I brought Ryoga along, is that okay?"

"As long as he doesn't disrupt—Just make sure we can tell the difference. Why are you wearing the same things?"

"It's fun."

"…"

"Hey, Ryoga, you know what we went through yesterday, right?"

"Kind of… but I don't think—"

"Then don't! Just do what you did yesterday. Here." Surreptitiously, Ryoma snuck his cap onto Ryoga's lap, which the latter quickly put on.

"OI! Echizen! Want a game with me?"

"He's talking to you." Ryoma hissed.

"Oh. OH! Yes please!"

"Too polite,"

"Right, I mean, well, you asked for it Momo."

The look of puzzlement was immediately erased from Momo's face as he heard the second line, leading Ryoga to the courts.

"Your serve."

* * *

_*Imagine a tennis game over here. Between Momo and a more social Ryoma.*_

* * *

"Well, I won't say that was unexpected, but, good game. Good game." Momo held out a sweaty palm, which Ryoga accepted.

Wait, there had been something Ryoma had asked him to say after the match… what was it again?

Right.

"Mada mada daze." (A/N got this from Wikipedia. I think that's what ryoga said…)

Silence, then Inui's furious scribbling of pen against notebook paper.

"Saa… New catchphrase, ne? Not bad, Ryoma, not up to your usual standards but…" Fuji whipped Ryoga's cap off, put his hands on the boy's shoulders and stared into his eyes, "hmmm…" He straightened, and looking straight at Ryoma on the bench, declared, "Ryoma, I thought you said your brother didn't play tennis?"

"About time you found out senpai-taichi. Mada mada dane."

Another silence, then Inui scratching out what seemed to be the last two pages of his notebook. But adding a new one, presumably on Ryoga.

"Didn't you ever learn that it was wrong to lie, Ryoma?"

"Not my fault, he only ever showed any talent yesterday at home."

"WOW, AMAZING! I couldn't even tell the difference! You're good!"

"Naturally, since he's related to me," came Ryoma's smug voice.

"You brat! Four years and still the same!" Momo held Ryoma in a headlock, "You should learn from your brother, you see, so humble—"

"What does that word mean again?"

"Hoi hoi nya! Can you two play doubles?"

"Eiji, I told you, I don't play doubles."

"But he's your twin, nya! All twins play doubles!"

"No, Eiji."

"Just try! One game?"

Ryoma looked towards Ryoga, still standing in the court in a daze. He smirked.

"Well… one game."

* * *

"Saa… Tezuka, are they in synchro?"

"Just watch, Fuji."

The regulars watched in awe as Eiji shot the ball towards the net, and the two Echizens moved towards the ball in uniformed speed from the separate directions.

_I will take this racquet, and HIT IT! Drop volley…?_

"Hard to tell who's who, eh, Taka?"

"No, the one on the left is Ryoma, on the right is Ryoga."

Before the team had a chance to make any comment about Fuji's extreme insights, there was a loud crash and clatter from the courts, as Ryoga and Ryoma seemingly collided while attempting to hit the ball from the exact same position.

"You IDIOT!" the two shouted in the perfect synchronization. Which they had apparently lacked during the game.

"I told you I was going to hit the ball!" Ryoma started.

"I told you I was!"

"I said so first."

"No, I did!"

"Are they really sixteen?"

"I think so."

"Good to know."

"Saa… Ryoma, seems like you're still hopeless at doubles, ne?"

"Shut up, Fuji."

* * *

"Ryoma?"

"hm?" He pulled on his pajamas, buttoning every other button on his shirt.

"I think I know who your selected love interest is already."

"You do?" Ryoma said distractedly, now smoothening his bed, "who?"

"It's that… guy… isn't it."

"Wait. No, I don't have one."

"Yes you do."

"I don't"

"You do, and I don't blame you, he's nice, except that there's not a single section," held up his handbook, "in this thing that tells you how to get guys. I've read it twenty times and I couldn't find anything."

"I wonder why," Ryoma stated drily, "anyway, I don't get what, or who for that matter, you're talking about."

Ryoga turned to face Ryoma on his side of the double bed, "Fuji Syuusuke. You get it now?"

"You're saying I like him?"

"Well, for one, he was the first thing that popped into your mind when I asked you yesterday. Twice, maybe three times."

"Yes, so what?"

"And, you did tell me yesterday you wanted to learn his signature tennis move."

"Yes, so what?"

"So, just that! You like him."

"Of course I like him, he's a bit creepy, but not unlikable you know."

"Oh you are hopeless."

"Hey!"

"Well, section 13 does tell us how to deal with people in denial—"

"I am NOT in denial for christ's sake."

"Sure you aren't."

"I'm NOT."

"Say that to someone who cares, now you listen, I'm going to help you get him, alright?"

"I told you, NO."

Sighing in exasperation, Ryoga briefed section 13.

13.1.12 _If the subject does not acknowledge his attraction for the selected love interest, the matchmaker can take it to his liberty to carry out his job, provided he has enough justification to do so, without the subject's consent._

Don't consult? Not to consult the subject? But wasn't that, like, forcing him into it?

_Provided he had enough justification to do so…_

He grinned.

* * *

Ryoma was fuming. Oh he was going to kill Ryoga, he really was. It was the fifth time in the last two weeks that he had been locked in the changing rooms with Fuji, alone, and he did not appreciate being alone with the tensai any more than he did the same tensai staring at his half naked form cursing bloody hell while trying to kick open the changing room doors.

Not at all.

"Ryoga!"

"Oh! Did you confess, finally?"

"NO!"

"Did he confess?"

"NO, you listen to me, could you please STOP locking us together? It's embarrassing!"

"That's kind of the point, you see, in tactic 02281, it says that—"

"I don't give a damn, alright? Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do here, I really do, but I don't think you should be too pushy in this sort of thing. It must be… gradual! Yes."

"Someone's romantic, aren't we?" Ryoga teased, elbowing Ryoma in the ribs.

"Shut up! Listen, I also don't think Fuji-senpai likes this too much either. Just… leave us alone, alright?"

"But… Fine. If you don't get him by the end of this month, then I'll interfere, alright?"

"Alright. Wait, who says he was the one I am looking for. HEY! At least give me two days to find someone! OY! COME BACK HERE!"

* * *

"I hate you."

"I know you do, just think of it as study material, alright?"

"No it's not alright. I can't believe the kind of things people DO to get girls."

"Or in your case, a guy." Ryoga said slyly.

"I'm not listening to you. And you should give this to Oyaji, he likes this sort of thing."

"You know, I am thinking of doing that."

"Good to know, I really do need more of his girlfriends swarming up this place while mom is gone."

"You mean he's cheating?"

"No, but he's perfectly capable of it, let me tell you first."

"Seems so."

"Wait, am I supposed to, according to 14355, kiss some person I remotely like just t—"

"All's fair in love and war."

"Now you know why war is so chaotic. And… oh, look at 14357, walk around shirtless as much as possi—What kind of thing is this?"

"Well, people who have to have matchmakers at this stage are usually desperate."

"This would be pretty interesting if it had nothing to do with me. Number 14362, ask her out on a date, but insist it's not a date. What the hell? Is this successful at all?"

"Works every time, according to boss."

"Tell your boss I hate him."

"Funny, everyone seems to love him."

"How do you know."

"My senpai told me."

"I have a feeling I shouldn't ask."

Ryoga nodded in agreement, "Just read the handbook, it has everything you need."

"Yeah, except if the other party is male."

"AHA! So you admit it."

"If, I said if."

"You are so in denial, mister."

"I am not. Besides, even IF, I said IF, I did happen to be… more attracted to males, oyaji would disown me."

"But you would willingly be disowned for love, yes?"

"Er… no." Ryoma stated flatly, effectively wiping the glassy eyed fangirl expression off Ryoga's face.

"Darn. So, anyone in mind?"

"Well, I do think Ryuuzaki-chan would be quite okay if she can get rid of your annoyingness and her shyness."

"So? Are you going to ask her out?"

Ryoma thought for a moment, "Nah, her hair is too long, causes imbalances."

"I see…"

"Well, I guess Tachibana would do fine as well… On the other hand, she doesn't go to our school, and I'm pretty sure she's with Momo. I like her hair though…"

"Yeah. Right. Just admi—"

"No, don't even go that direction."

"I'm never wrong with my intuition, Ryoma."

"Because this is your first job, remember?"

"I was hoping you would forget… Just say you need my help already."

"I don't need your help! I just need some time to… adjust."

"Adjust to what? The fact that you're so obviously ga—"

"Don't say the word, Ryoga, don't say it."

"aaaaaa," Ryoga continued dragging the one syllable word out as long as his breath could hold.

"I told you, stop it!"

"AAAAAAAAAAYYY!"

"Now you've done it. I swear I'm going to burn the book."

"NOOOO! Give it back! Give it back! You can't burn it!"

"Oh yes I can."

"No, you can't. Literally. You can't destroy anything from my world."

"That explains why your shirt wasn't pink when baka oyajii washed it with the tablecloth."

"I guess so."

"Wait, so number 14387 says that one must spill a colored drink on his own shirt, and proceed to take it off—isn't this exactly the same thing as 14357?"

"Wow, you're good at this. Not exactly the same thing, though it is kind of similar. I guess boss was running out of ideas."

"Well, with so much to write, It's no wonder. Let me see… 14403, look into the other party's eyes, smile, or blush, and look away."

"You'd be surprised at how much imagination boss really has."

"With this? I don't think I will be." Ryoma dropped the book into his bag, "Well, don't bother me for…" he did some calculation in his head, "ten days, and I'll do something about my _single_ situation, yes?"

"Yes, I keep my promises, you know."

"Yeah right. Please, do me a favour and just not come to training tomorrow."

"Will you promise to—"

"YES I WILL!"

"Good, now shoo you, go to bed."

"Best idea you've had so far." Ryoma threw the blankets over his head, blocking out all unnecessary grinning and noise on Ryoga's part.

"I know."

Ryoma scrambled out from under the covers, face flushed, "PUT ON SOME PANTS!"

"But it's so troublesome." Ryoga whined.

* * *

Hello!

Sorry if the story was a bit… strange… and fast paced with conversations popping out and making up most of the story. But I just had to get it down on paper, or in this case, computer.

Oh and this chapter had very little _**FUJI**_ in it, but I guess I'll bring him out later.

This could be a very long introduction of sorts.

Probably gonna to only have, what, one? Two? More chapters? Yes. Maybe that many only.

Well, happy holidays to those who have it, and has it started snowing in non tropical countries already?

I've never seen snow before…

Oh well, let's all have fun either way!

Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back.

And being a total fanfiction nerd about it as well. I have no idea how my hits and visitors can be different if there is only one chapter. I mean, even if someone came in and left halfway, wouldn't the hit and visitor still be one? Aah, nevermind.

I have nothing to do right now except finish a couple of books and study next year's curriculum.

Meh, I can handle it. OH OH and I just finished this little perry the platypus stuff toy thing… so sweet. So small…

Please enjoy this chapter!

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

He had it with this thing. If he was going to have to spend the rest of his own life living with this idiot who was intent to set him up with a sadist, he was going to commit suicide.

It seemed that all the Seigaku female population seemed to either love him to the point of insanity, hate him to the point of insanity or faint/scream/run away whenever he approached them.

Life wasn't fair.

He opened up the killer notebook once more.

"00282, ask love interest to be subject's false lover, because of circumstances (see list of circumstances in Appendix 3). GAAAAH! What kind of thing is this stupid—"

He stopped short, an idea blossoming. That was it. He had the perfect solution. One that even Ryoga probably could not see through… Now why hadn't he seen that tactic before? Someone to help him trick Ryoga, wasn't it?

He just had to find someone to play the part for two days… then Ryoga would be safe in the clouds, or wherever that palace was.

Now who was he going to get…

Not a girl, that was for sure. Girls were annoying clingy, and would, more often than not, actually obsess over him.

Maybe someone on the tennis team. That should be simple enough, they were his friends after all.

Fuji? Ryoma shuddered. Too unthinkable.

Tezuka? Somehow Ryoma felt distinctly uncomfortable at that as well.

Momo? He could ask Momo. As a friend, he would probably do just fine. And then again, Momo did have An, so it would be quite awkward if she found out.

Eiji? He was probably going to be too excited to keep the secret.

Oishi? He probably couldn't act the part too well…

Taka? Probably was going to be about the same as Oishi, though he could make him carry a tennis racquet with him…

Inui? Ryoma quickly dismissed that one. Inui would probably make him contribute ten pages to his evil notebook, or drink twenty glasses of Inui poison.

As Ryoma mulled over his choices, a dark shadow crept over his short form.

"Ryoma, what do you have there?"

Ryoma leapt out of the chair he was occupying almost dropping the precious notebook onto the ground, probably to be picked up by Fuji and read with relish.

"Uh, Nothing." He hid it behind his back, praying that Fuji had not been paying attention.

"Oh yes you do, it's bright orange, you're hiding it, is it anything interesting?" He smiled his usual sparkly care-bear smile that just made Ryoma want to run away and never return.

"Sorry, you can't see it, it's… private. Yes, a diary, no Journal. Yes." He thought that was pretty quick thinking.

"I see…" His smile widened, dropping Ryoma back into the sea of panic. He had just given Fuji an excuse, or reason, to be looking through his belongings.

"There's nothing important in there, just some tennis stuff—" Ryoma said nonchalantly, waving one hand to emphasize his point that the neon orange notebook was of no significance at all.

"Then can I see it? I would love to have some tennis tips up my sleeve."

"NO!" Ryoma shouted, earning himself an eyebrow raise from Fuji. Not a good sign, not a good sign at all.

"I mean, uh… um… It has techniques in it, like my… cool drive…. And… samurai zone… very confidential."

"Funny, just the other day I saw you explaining to Horio how to do your cool drive."

"That's because… because…" Ryoma stuttered himself into silence.

"Because…?" Fuji prompted, leaning closer.

"Um," Ryoma said intelligently, his heart racing as he wondered what the tensai would do if he really knew what the book held, "Will you go out with me?"

Oh shit. He didn't know what made him do it, but suddenly Fuji seemed like the best possible candidate for the job. He could stare Ryoga down if that idiot ever got wind of this little scheme of his.

Mostly because Fuji actually did look like he wouldn't mind to date him. Well, perfect. If he had himself convinced, Ryoga should be easy enough.

Now to tell him that it was all a scam to get rid of Ryoga.

"It's actually because of—"

"Sure!"

"Nonono, it's because… what?"

"I will go out with you, just tell me what I have to do."

"You mean you… knew?"

"You'd be surprised what I can read over your shoulder."

"WHAT? Did you see anything?"

"Let me see… I would have to say… yes…"

"Please don't tell anyone. It's Ryoga's and he made me read it because he thinks that I need to get a girlfriend and I just want to get him to shut up about it so I need to—"

"So you'll break up with me after he's gone?"

"Pretty much."

"Using people as a means to an end? That's morally incorrect, Ryoma. But sure!"

"Morally incorrect in what way? I am a consequentialist."

"That explains all the things you've done for the past four years."

"And more," Ryoma agreed, "So you'll do it? Isn't it, below a tensai like Fuji?"

"If you happen to think so, should I just…"

"NO! I mean, no."

"Well then, Ryoma, my one and true love, dare I defile thee with thy unworthiest han—"

"No way no WAY, that's overdoing it, Fuji-senpai, and I'm pretty sure you got that line wrong."

"Well, I just studied it this year, so I'm pretty sure I did it just fine."

"Whatever. So long as everything's normal and Ryoga can leave, you can do whatever you want."

Fuji stopped. Furrowed his eyebrows and stated after a few moments of thought, "That's not a lot."

"Well, I'm not asking for much you know, just… like… pretend to like me and stuff and we can just walk home together… Things you see in those high school dramas."

"Hmmm… how should I break this to you…" Fuji tapped his chin, "That's thoroughly unconvincing."

"It's fine."

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of this," Without another word, Fuji lifted Ryoma up by the collar of his shirt and planted his own lips over the boy's in a short but undeniable, kiss.

"That. Hey, Ryoma, Ryoma! Oh my, he fainted."

O0o0o0o0o0

The doorbell rang out once throughout the temple compound. Ryoga heard it, but decided that it was probably in Ryoma's best interests to teach him a lesson on patience.

It rang again.

And again.

And again.

Throwing down the television remote, Ryoga stomped to the door and pulled it open, "Chibisuke, you should be a tad more pa—"

"Good day, sorry if I interrupted anything, but I had something to deliver urgently. Yes." He dropped Ryoma's schoolbag on the doorstep and turned around to let the boy at the door see the boy on his back.

"Did he… faint." _My my_, Ryoga was smirking, so Ryoma had been so nervous he fainted? Not surprising.

"I would have thought that obvious. Now if you would be so kind as to help me? I'm not an ant."

"Ah yes, very well." Ryoga lifted Echizen off Fuji's back and leant him against the doorframe, "Thanks for bringing him back, Fuji-san."

"Yes, well, tell him to call me when he wakes up," he kissed the unconscious boy's forehead, "Well, bye!" he skipped off cheerfully.

Ryoga was in a state of shock.

Did he just see what he thought he saw? Because if he did not see what he thought he saw, then what on earth was what he saw, if it wasn't what he thought he saw?

He was confusing himself, but did Fuji just do what he did? Because if he di— Oh heck. Fuji kissed Ryoma.

Fireworks were erupting behind his head as he took in the sight of his still unconscious 'brother'. Now, just one more thing to make sure…

Ryoma groaned. What was it again? oh yes, he had just successfully humiliated himself in front of Fuji, not to mention…

The book. THE BOOK. WHEREWAS THE BOOK?

Now he was done for, if Fuji even looked through the first page… or worst, section 9, he would be dead.

"Woah, what are you doing, loverboy?"

"Your stupid handbook, I think I lost it." Ryoma groaned, still patting his pockets to locate this precious but not so precious book.

"… You lost it."

"No, I'm lying just for the fun of it," Ryoma said sarcastically, "Duh I lost it."

"… You lost it."

"What? Cat got your TONNNGGGGUUUUEEEE!" Ryoma cried out in surprise as Ryoga tackled him to the ground.

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COST YOU BIG LOSER!"

"That's not funny you know."

"It was EXPENSIVE. Not to mention it had all my notes in it."

"Notes on what."

"On YOU! Since boss just told me, that, since there wasn't enough demand for instructions for homosexuals, it wasn't worth the trouble to develop a book on it! NOW YOU LOST IT. YOU LOST IT."

"I think you lost it Ryoga. Do you want to sit down?" Ryoma picked Ryoga up princess style and dragged his tennis bag by his ankle.

"NONO put me down, and you, tell me about your kiss."

Ryoma stopped walking, frozen, and dropped Ryoga onto the ground.

"OOUCH, you know, that would have hurt if you weren't so short."

"What do you mean?" Ryoma asked, his voice an octave higher, "Fuji-senpai never kissed me?"

"Then why are you asking it as a question."

Ryoma frowned, why was he denying this?

"Oh yes, you mean _that_ kiss, yes, Fuji-senpai kissed me."

"_That_ kiss? You mean he kissed you more than once?" Ryoga demanded details.

"Anyway, you can leave now."

"Huh?"

"You landed me a person, now I can leave now, right?"

"Leave…?"

"Wasn't that what you said?"

"Oh right…"

"Why so morose? Liking it here on earth huh?"

"It's been interesting." Ryoga confessed.

The two lapsed into silence. Ryoma admitted it, he had wanted Ryoga gone for a while. But now that he really was leaving…

Well, he wasn't present for the first sixteen years of his life, why should he let one month affect him?

"Well. Thirty days, I guess you'll get your reward, no?"

"Oh yeah! Right" Ryoga brightened and picked himself off the ground, "Well, I have to stick around for two days to see your progression. And you BETTER find me my handbook. It really was quite expensive."

"You have to buy them?"

"Of course! You think boss has nothing better to do than to write handbooks for dummies?"

"For Dummies?"

"I saw it on your shelf, actually, I thought you were beyond 'tennis for dummies'."

"Actually, I read that book eight years ago, to study English. Thought it would be better if it was on a topic I liked."

"Wow."

"It was pretty boring, considering they had really long passages, like, really long passages, just to tell you how to serve it across the net. I mean, just hit it, It'll get over no matter how you hit it."

"I think that's just you, Ryoma."

"Whatever."

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Fuji-senpai!"

"Yes?"

"I need a favour."

"What is it."

"You see, Ryoga says he needs to do further… observation? Yeah, so I have to—"

"Go on a date with me?"

"Pretty much. It wouldn't take too long, I swear, maybe just fifteen minutes at a café. I bet Ryoga will buy it."

"Saa… if we're going to do this, we have to make it convincing, no?"

"Yes, but it'll be too troublesome, for me, and for you, so—"

"It's okay. I have no homework today anyway. Oh and, I'm thinking you want this back."

He held out the orange book, which seemed to have a heavenly glow around it. As for Ryoma, he just turned an impossible shade of burgundy, snatching the book out of the tensai's hands and burying it deep into his windbreaker.

"Uh… how much did you read?" he asked, nervously.

Fuji's smile broadened. So what did this little one have to hide?

"Saa… I never knew you had so many _secrets,_ Ryoma."

Ryoma's blush spread to his neck.

"NO! Don't misunderstand, it's not mind you see, it's Ryoga's and he gave it to me because he thought it would be—" He gushed.

"I see."

"Don't tell anyone. Please."

"Hmmm, I'll think about it. You'll make up for it on our 'date' yes?"

Ryoma looked up at the smiling face of his senpai, feeling the dreadful feeling of trepidation creep up his spine and filling his brain with the thoughts that most likely were also in Fuji's sadistic mind.

"Yes." Ryoma managed, blood draining out of his face as fast as it came.

Fuji smiled, "Good."

O0o0o0o0o0o0

"Why are we here again." Ryoma whimpered, finding himself sitting in the movie theater watching some sappy romance movie, and seeing things he had rather not have seen, i.e. the couple in front of them. Was that what people called…. Shameless?

If there happened to be a table in sight, Ryoma was sure he would have broken his head from the headbanging he felt like doing at the moment, sitting next to Fuji who was playing an unnervingly good part as a lover.

And Ryoga needed help on his stalking skills. He could smell those oranges miles away.

The couple onscreen kissed and Ryoma took it as cue to bury his head into the large popcorn pot, smelling the smell of the now non-existent popped corn he had just been stuffing into his mouth to ease the gruesomeness of the love **octagon** of sorts, trying his best to keep it in his stomach as all of them proclaimed undying love for some person who 'cared for another', and then cutting to a scene where they looked down a twenty story building with unnecessary wind billowing their hair around and stuff that made him just wonder why humans could ever be so daft as to produce such crappy movies.

"God just kill yourself already if you want it that bad." Ryoma muttered into the popcorn bin, hearing his own voice echoing within the large cylinder as he watched the girl raise the razor above her forearm.

"You're so heartless, Ryoma."

He said that, yes, but he was grinning from ear to ear, chuckling as the other girl involved went on a mad rampage with a kitchen knife, slashing the curtains of the boy's house and destroying everything within three meter radius.

"Speak for yourself."

"_BROTHER! Don't do it!"_

"_I have no choice, Toto-chan, I love you."_

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Ryoma prayed for his IQ, which was flitting out of his brain at an alarming rate. He looked up from the popcorn bin when he thought the scene changed. It didn't.

"_TOTO-CHAN! What are you doing?"_

"_If brother is gone, I have no reason to stay in this cruel world." _

"_Then what about me? Am I not reason enou—"_

Ryoma groaned and dropped his head back into the popcorn bin, trying to salvage whatever was left of his intelligence.

"_KAORU! I LOVE YOU, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU!"_

Just when he thought it was safe to come out from his protective popcorn bin shield, he got an earful of the love declaration. He winced and retreated, vowing never to watch another movie again. Unfortunately, the popcorn bin was too thin to mask the reply Kaoru gave at this screamed confession.

"_I know, I've loved you too, but, I love him more."_

"_What about him is better than me, I will prove myself, please! Give me a chance!"_

"_I'm sorry Ryoma—"_

Ryoma gagged, sick at the stomach from hearing his own name defiled in such a revolting way. He had a coughing fit into the popcorn bin, and Fuji pat him on the back, whether to unblock his airways, or in sympathy, he didn't know. Fuji gave a chuckle and wrapped his arm around Ryoma's shoulder. Just for show, of course. A long five minutes passed with only the semi-decent music of the soundtrack playing, and Ryoma, dying to get a breath of fresh air, decided it was time to remove the popcorn bin.

"_SYUUSUKE, DON'T GO! I LOVE YOU!"_

Ryoma gave an explosive snort of laughter, eliciting multiple 'shhhh' s and 'keep it down' s from the couples in front of them. He could care less though, he was already chortling into the popcorn bin.

"I do not find that at all amusing, Ryoma."

"But I do, Syuu-suuuu-kkeeeeeee."

"Hm. Is Ryoga still watching us?"

Ryoma sniffed at the air, still permeating oranges, "One hundred percent."

"Okay then, we'd better do something drastic then."

"_SENSEI! I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha—"_

Ryoma turned around curiously, "like what?"

"_It's okay, Sakura-chan, I love you too."_

"Well, there are a number of things we can do, but judging by that," he pointed to the snogging couples scattered around the theater, "I should think we—"

"_I'll see you in university, sensei. And you'll be able to lo—"_

"WHAT?" Ryoma all but screamed. More furious glares from the couples. Ryoma lowered his voice to a whisper, "Are you mad?"

"_I'll wait for you Sakura-chan, and when the time comes—"_

Fuji whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "Well, you wanted to be convincing."

"_SENSEI!"_

"Well," Ryoma said through clenched teeth, "Just get it over with."

"Okay!" He glanced briefly to the back, making sure Ryoga was watching, "on the count of three. One… two… three…"

Another kiss. For gods sake how many did he have to do to convince Ryoga?

"Too early, Ryoma, I said on the count of three. Are you really that eager?"

Ryoma was glad, for the first time, that the theater lights were dim. If his face looked as red as it felt, he would make quite a good cherry, "you said three, I waited till three."

"I meant one two three with a go."

"You didn't specify!" He hissed.

"_Ryo-chan, Ryo-chan, why? WHY?" _

"Ryo-chan, hmmm? Rather nice ring to it."

"Don't even THINK about it."

"_I had to do it, Mizuki-chan, it was the only way for me to save Kaoru."_

"I can think whatever I want, Ryoma."

"_But… but… RYO-CHAN! DON'T GO! RYO-CHAN! RYO-CHAAAANNN!"_

"I think I need to puke."

"I think that's what the popcorn bin is for, Ryo-chan."

"_NOOOOOO! I'LL KILL YOU KAORU! I'LL KILL YOU!"_

Ryoma's reply was not heard over the loud scream that followed, which just got himself an instant migraine.

"No objection? Does that mean I can call you that?"

"_YOU KILLED MY RYO-CHAN! NOW, YOU WILL PAAAAYYYY!"_

Another shriek drowned out Ryoma's reply adding oil to Ryoma's already blistering fire of absolute wrath.

"O-oh, so really no objection's!" He smiled.

"_Mizuki-chan, please put the knife down…"_

Ryoma was trying to suppress his fists, both of which just seemed to be on strike that day. It was the damn movie. No doubt about it. If Ryoga weren't sitting just two meters away, he would have punched the larynx out of that big… incompetent…

He just had to think of another way to shut him up.

"_DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"_

"Well then, since we're both fine with it—" Fuji's lips suddenly couldn't move.

Another kiss. What was the tally now?

"And that," Ryoma declared triumphantly, "is why you should never EVER mess with me, you hear that?"

As if on cue, the girl in the movie screamed, "_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

"… Ryoma, are you asking me to mess with you?"

Ryoma retreated back into the popcorn bin, wishing it was filled with ice to cool his face.

His money. He wanted his money back.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Are you kidding me? It was completely," Fuji elbowed Ryoma in the ribs, drawing attention to the not so discreet Ryoga tailing them, "WONDERFUL!" He yelled out, mostly at the pain of Fuji's bony elbow.

"Aww, I love you too, Ryo-chan." He put his arm around Ryoma again, causing the latter to shudder.

"Ryo-chan is so shy, it's soo kaaaaa-waaaaa-yeeeeeeeeeeeee." He pinched Ryoma's cheeks, causing them to turn an even deeper shade of red.

Ryoma wanted the popcorn bin again.

"Fu—Syuu-chan!" Ryoma declared smugly, "I want to go there," he pointed to the clean glass window of an expensive looking café.

"You sure, Ryo-chan?" Fuji said, quite amused at Ryoma's perception at what was considered embarrassing.

"Yes, I'm very sure, Syuu-chan."

"Okay then, let's go!" He ushered the small boy through the door.

The sight of two teenage boys absolutely smitten with each other caused quite a stir, Ryoma swore he saw a mother cover the eyes of her child.

"Um, this way please," the waiter frantically ushered them to the most secluded part of the café.

Trying to ignore the multiple stares thrown their way, Ryoma opened the menu and pretended to be absorbed with its contents.

"Ryo-chan, is everything okay?" Fuji asked.

"No," Ryoma grit his teeth at this stupid nickname, "everything's fine, just dandy."

"Oh, I thought Ryo-chan looked a bit sick."

"No, Syuu-chan," Ryoma said, voice sickeningly sweet, "I am fine, don't worry."

"Gentlemen, may I take your order?"

"Oh, I'll have…" Ryoma scanned the menu, picking out the three things on the list with the most zeros on the price, "that, that, and that."

"And you, sir?" He looked at Fuji.

Fuji glanced at the menu, before giving a chilling smile and stating, "Water would be good."

"Please wait a moment while we get your orders ready."

Ryoma was having a hard time wiping the exultant (and rather silly looking) grin off his own face. Fuji's fleeting look of utter astonishment was quite funny to see.

The orders came, and it was now Ryoma's turn to be shocked as the waiter brought an entire cream cake, followed by a plate of meringues and a bowl of pudding of some sort. And Fuji's single glass of water.

"Erm, Fuji…"

"Ryo-chan, you ordered it, I couldn't possibly steal it from you," More smiling.

Ryoma stared at his cake and cut out a slice. After five minutes, he came to the unfortunate conclusion that his stomach was already filled with popcorn.

"Erm, Fuji…"

"This is a high class café, Ryoma, I highly doubt they would have doggy bags."

Ryoma looked down at the substantial amount of cake before him, then up at the tensai's sadistic expression, then to the meringues, then the pudding, then back to the sadistic face.

He cut out another slice.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Don't talk to me."

"I think I can talk to you, Ryo-chan, it's you who can't talk to me."

Fuji watched with amusement as the younger boy wobbled along the road, one hand clutching his stomach, the other on his mouth.

"I… need a… toilet." He pressed the hand harder on his mouth, doubling over. A meringue fell out of his pocket

"It's okay, I think you ate a bit too much."

He would have liked to give a witty and sharp reply, but he couldn't risk having to see half digested cake on the pavement

He had had to finish the cake. And the pudding.

And Fuji hadn't even helped one bit. Ryoma supported his overfed frame against a lamp post, the salary men off work staring at him not bothering him as much as it should have.

His legs felt weak. He wouldn't have any dinner at all. No, he wouldn't. And no breakfast either.

In fact, no meals for the next two weeks. He tripped over his own wobbling feet and fell into Fuji's outstretched arms. Another meringue fell out of his pocket.

Fuji gave a pathetic sigh, "Ryo-chan, I don't think you should have eaten too much."

Ryoma forced the answer out of his lips, "Syuu…chan… bought it… for… me…" for the benefit of Ryoga.

"Aww, I'm touched. Thank you!" He placed one hand behind Ryoma's waist and another on his chest, balancing the poor boy as he walked down the street. The sky was darkening, and he needed to get home as soon as possible.

Ryoma teetered a few steps tripped again and was caught by Fuji. He walked a few more steps before wrenching himself from Fuji's grasp and empting the contents of his stomach into a bin by the road.

Fuji felt a surge of pity that surpassed his resentment of having his entire weeks allowance literally thrown down the trash.

"Come on, Ryoma, let's get you home in one piece."

Too weak to reply, too sick to object, Ryoma allowed himself to be hoisted onto Fuji's back and piggy-backed back to his temple-home.

Ryoga watched on with a knowing smile.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

If I had continued, it would have gone on too long.

So this is it!

Do whatever you want with the numerous buttons fanfiction has.

You know, there is this AMAZING thing that you can do, you know, there is this button at the bottom of the page, and you can click it, and MAGIC will happen. I SWEAR, MAGIC!

Haha, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had lots of fun writing it.


	3. Chapter 3

I wonder…

Personally, I'm not too sure if overeating will have such dire consequences, but… still…

Haha, hope you like this chapter, and thank you everyone for bothering to read this story! I am happy~

I think this will be the very last chapter?

!

O0o0o0o0o0o0

"You're home, Ryoma, you need to get off."

As if in response, Ryoma clung on tighter to Fuji's back, mumbling something incoherent.

"Now now, Ryo-chan, you can sleep at home, don't be lazy."

Ryoma stirred at the sudden rumbling of Fuji's back as the latter spoke. Blinking at the sudden change in lighting, he got the distinct impression that his feet weren't the ones supporting him. Something soft brushed against his cheek.

He blinked again. The smiling face of Fuji Syuusuke came into focus, disturbingly close to his own.

"Saa… may I ask how long you're going to use me as a pillow?"

He seemed to realize that his chin was still resting on Fuji's shoulder, and as if by instinct, he flinched back, landing himself on the cold, and more importantly, hard, concrete pavement and bruising his coccyx.

"Owwwww…" Ryoma moaned, pulling himself to his feet.

"Glad to see you're finally stable." Fuji reached out a hand and extracted a meringue from the younger boy's pocket, breaking the cookie between his teeth, "You really should learn to control yourself, Ryo-chan."

"Don't call me that," Ryoma mumbled, rubbing his sore stomach, pulling out an entire handful of meringues. He had already forgotten why the heck he had bothered to buy and eat such an alien amount of food.

"No thank you, Ryo-chan, you keep it yourself."

"You take it, looking at food now is making me sick."

"You already are."

"Just take it."

Fuji raised an eyebrow at this impatient tone, and pocketed the meringues without a word. He was aware of the sullen face of his 'date'.

"Look, I'm sorry about making you pay. I'll pay you back when I get enough money."

Fuji smiled wider, pulling out a meringue, "That's quite alright Ryo-chan, I couldn't possibly make my boyfriend pay, could I?" He watched as this 'boyfriend's' face took on a pleasant pinkish hue.

"No, I couldn't possibly make you pay for all that. I'll return the money to you."

Fuji bent down and whispered, "You owe me one, Ryo-chan."

The breath of hot air had tickled his ear and Ryoma automatically raised a hand to his earlobe. He did NOT want to know what else Fuji had in store for him now.

"I DON'T owe you. I'll pay the money back."

"Whoever said anything about paying Ryo-chan? I told you, I want to pay for it."

"Huh? But you—"

Fuji held a finger to Ryoma's lips, "Hush, don't say a word."

Ryoma wondered just how many romance movies Fuji had watched. Though it would probably explain why his head was so messed up, Ryoma did not want weird pick-up lines used on him.

"What?" Ryoma said awkwardly. It wasn't exactly easy to speak with something holding your lips together.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Huh? I never said anything abou—"

The double doors swung open, revealing a very pissed off looking Rinko and a distraught Nanjiroh, clutching a magazine to his head as a shield as his wife brought a broomstick down.

"Sorry honey, I didn't think you'd be back so soon!" his sentence was punctuated by multiple ouches as Rinko continued to beat the life out of him and his magazine with her broom.

"Oh sure you didn't. I won't allow you back in until you swear you won't have any of those in this house again, you hear me?" the steady whacks of her broomstick never stopped.

"Yes, yes! I swear."

Rinko gave him one last calculating glare before dropping her broomstick and whipping the magazine out of Nanjiroh's hands. Rolling it into the standard fly-swatter, she rapped him on the chest, "If I ever catch you with one of these again, I'm going to demolish the front yard."

At this, Nanjiroh paled, "Not the front yard, anything but the front yard!"

Rinko's face donned a smile that would probably put Fuji to shame, "Oh it most certainly WILL be the front yard." She flung the magazine onto the street before storming back into the house, a whimpering Nanjiroh tailing behind.

"Have we got the wrong address?"

"No, you've been here before." Ryoma picked up his schoolbag, "well, today was," out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flurry of movement. Ryoga, no doubt, "Great! I hope we can go on another date soon?" He forced a smile.

Fuji, mildly taken aback, replied smoothly, "Of course, anything for my darling Ryo-chan. I love you."

A peck on the cheek, and he turned and walked down the now deserted street, picking up a magazine lying on the road. I love you? Huh, just how easily could the tensai lie through his teeth? Or how many times had he carelessly thrown the three words around?

Sighing, Ryoma turned around, and found himself nose to nose with an Eiji-fied version of himself.

"So? So? So? How was it? Did you see the movie! I told you it was good! Not that I watched it or anything."

This person really was the worst possible actor, and worse, he looked just like him.

"I would recommend it if you happen to like hearing your name screamed by mad women."

"… ... anyway, did you go anywhere after the date, like… a CAFÉ or something?" Ryoga continued pressing Ryoma for information.

"Yes, and I overate and puked in front of my darling Syuu-chan," Ryoma was suddenly aware of his very sore stomach.

"Never mind it, true love will ignore such details." Ryoga said, in passion about this favourite subject of his.

"… I got your book back anyway. It's all your fault, do you know how much Fu-… Syuu-chan" Ryoma spat out, "is going to blackmail me for this?"

"Huh?"

"He's probably going to tell the world that I am a sexually deprived—"

"Huh?"

"He read the stupid book." Ryoma, sensing that Ryoga was more than just a little bit dense, decided to go with the more direct approach.

"What do you mean, he can't read it."

"And why not?"

"He can't! That's just it. He can't. He's a mortal."

"And I'm some kind of sparkly pokemon?"

"No, you're my subject, so obviously you can read it. That Fuji's not involved. He can't read it."

"Oh… I see…" Ryoga sensed a burning hedonistic aura around his 'brother'. Ryoma was fuming, oh he was. He had endured that one hundred and forty six minutes of torture, just to know that he had been very carefully and ingeniously played with. He wouldn't stand for it. No way. He was going to get that too-genius-for-his-own-good-genius back. Blackmail, huh? Well, Fuji wasn't the only one who could do it.

He was just the only one who had enough material.

Damn it.

"Um, Ryoma, you there?"

"Yes I am here, now if you would excuse me, I have cream cake to regurgitate."

"That's disgusting."

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ryoma picked at his spaghetti, still extremely put out by Fuji's straight confession at his accusation of blackmail.

_"Why did you blackmail me?"_

_"Because it was fun!"_

That was basically the entire conversation, though the original did hold many more… disturbing details.

Now, he was still wondering what in blazes managed to get himself coerced into sitting opposite Fuji in this little Italian restaurant he hadn't even known existed.

"Come on, just eat your food Ryo-chan, I did pay for it you know."

"I didn't ask for it." Ryoma mumbled, just loud enough for the tensai to hear. The air still smelled like oranges, and it probably wouldn't be very smart to explode into loud profanities. However much he wanted to.

He did kind of want Ryoga to stay on earth, but it was probably better if he left. Too much of him could get one into a bit of a Horio mood.

"Come on," Fuji pouted, making Ryoma feel like puking all over again, "For me?"

"Only for my darling little Syuu-chan." Ryoma said sweetly, through gritted teeth, his foot already making its way to crush Fuji's.

Fuji's smile wavered slightly as he felt painful pressure on his foot.

"Ouch."

"Something the matter? Syuu-chan?" Ryoma smiled coyly.

Twisting a bit of spaghetti moodily with his fork, Ryoma was not pleased to have the slippery strands unravel and fall back into the plate. Fuji was smiling over his lime juice. Oh why was he the one who had to eat everything. Oh yes, because Fuji was supposed to stare at him and make googly eyes at him stuffing his face.

He tried to ignore the chuckling tensai as he twisted more of the darned spaghetti on the damn fork, more forcefully this time.

The pasta unraveled and hit him in the face in a shower of sauce. More laughing. He wondered if he would be kicked out for dumping the spaghetti in his face.

"Ryo-chan, you eat it like this," Fuji took the fork from Ryoma's hands and demonstrated perfect spaghetti eating methods. Great, just one more way that tensai was better than him.

"Ramen is so much easier." Ryoma said, snatching the fork back, ignoring all calls of social etiquette and shoveling a forkful of noodles into his mouth viciously.

"Ryoma," Fuji piped up suddenly, "Do you know something called a spaghetti kiss?"

"Let me guess, we all kiss spaghetti." Ryoma blurted out sarcastically through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Not quite, you see, there is this Disney movie called lady and the tram—"

"Disney? Okay, now I really don't want to know."

"Hey, Disney is good."

"I'm assuming you haven't watched any shows made in the last fifteen years."

"…"

"Well, spaghetti kiss? Was it within the past fifteen years?"

"I doubt it."

"Okay, then I'm all ears."

"So, anyway, a spaghetti kiss is when we start eating on the same strand of spaghetti and eat our way to the centre where we kiss! Simple."

"Yeah, and we'll have tomato sauce dribbling all over the place." Ryoma dismissed the idea.

"Well, there won't be if you know how to do it."

"And you do?"

"Certainly!"

"And how?" Ryoma raised his eyebrows. If the tensai said 'practice' he was going to smash something.

"The Disney movie of course."

"Lady and the Tramp…" Ryoma furrowed his brows in concentration, now where had he heard that before, ah yes. His expression hardened, "I believe that that movie involves two dogs, and since none of us are canine in origin, I believe it would not be appropriate."

"Quite the contrary, all Disney movies seem to portray main characters as animals, remember Robin Hood as the fox?"

"That is different."

"How so?"

"Robin Hood isn't a love story."

"It is."

"Is not."

"Oh? What about him and Maid Marian?"

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"So the spaghetti kiss?"

"No! There are people watching, are you crazy?"

"One of those people include Ryoga, or have you forgotten the reason—"

"FINE! Do whatever you want."

"Thank you, Ryoma."

Ryoma had to marvel at the simplicity of this 'spaghetti kiss'. It passed in a flash, and Ryoma almost forgot it was a kiss at all, mainly because of the amount of (delicious) spaghetti consumed to get to the middle. But that was besides the point. He could almost _see _Ryoga cheering from behind him, and frankly, he didn't care. He had to finish it before Fuji did.

"Okay then," Ryoma licked the remnants of the sauce from the plate, "What do we do next?"

"Hm," Fuji consulted a list of places to go, "I was thinking, the amusemen—"

"No."

"The arcad—"

"No."

"Mall."

"No."

"Cinem—"

"Heck no."

"Library?"

"What?"

"I like books. So the library?"

"Fine by me."

There was a comfortable silence around them as they sat, Fuji still fiddling with the carnation that was on the display in the middle of the table and Ryoma making clinking noises of metal fork against ceramic plate.

"Shall we leave now?" Fuji asked, after a long moment.

"Whatever."

O0o0o0o0oo0o000o0

"Ryo-chan, have you read this? I highly recommend it."

"Yes I have read it and I highly regret doing so."

"You don't have an ounce of feeling in that cold, cold heart of yours, don't you."

"Just because I don't particularly like reading clichéd romances, does NOT mean I don't _feel_. Besides, Jane Austen is hardly something you expect a sixteen year old boy to read, and enjoy, without him questioning his sexual orientation."

"That is extremely rude and stereotypical."

"And the truth. Hey, I like this one!"

"From what I have heard, it is mostly of violence and murder."

"Well, what else do you have? Princess Diaries?" Ryoma sneered.

"Princess Diaries is an extremely good series on self realization and—"

"You _read_ it?" Ryoma asked, surprised

"You haven't?" Fuji replied, equally surprised, "Have you been living in a closet all your life?"

"No I haven't, and from what I know, The Princess Diaries was written with the target audience as pre-teen to teenage FEMALES."

"And?"

"Wait… Fuji-senpai, you aren't secretly a GIRL, are you? Though that _would_ explain much…"

Fuji smiled and slid the book back onto the shelf, "I assure you, I am one hundred percent male."

"That's good to know. Tezuka-buchou is going to kick you off the team if you aren't."

"That would be worrying." Fuji said vaguely, still perusing the many shelves of books, "How about this?"

"Agatha Christie? I finished most of her books two years ago… In English," he added, for extra effect.

"How very bilingual." He pulled another bright coloured book off the shelf, the stenciled bear shapes bold red against the lilac background.

"Fuji-senpai, you're not seriously thinking of reading that, are you?"

"Hm? It looks interesting."

"Well, I suppose you're of age…"

An orangey scent was wafting throughout the air conditioned library, and Ryoma was sorry to see Ryoga walking through the revolving doors, in an outfit that obviously belonged to his father. Well, they couldn't have hid from him forever. Ryoma sighed and pulled out a fairly worn book, opening it to reveal yellowed pages and silverfish scuttling down the spines. A musty smell overpowered his nostrils and he fought the urge to sneeze loudly and reveal their position to a very 'sneaky' Ryoga.

"Wait, Is that…?" Fuji was at his side in an instant, pulling the book out of his hands and throwing Ryoma into a cloud of dust.

He sneezed loudly, awkwardly rubbing his nose with one hand.

"Is that what?"

"I've been looking for this book for _ages_, I can't believe you found it!"

"That?"

"Yes, it's a sequel to one of my favourite books, funny, I've never found it here before."

Ryoma craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of the title. It was hard, considering the front cover was already worn out and faded, and Fuji was already hiding it behind his back. Curiosity got the better of him as he saw the tensai drop it surreptitiously into one of his deep pockets.

"You're not thinking of stealing it, are you?"

"Even if I did, the alarms would sound. So, no."

"What is it?"

"A sequel to one of my favourite books, I thought I told you already?"

"Yeah, but what is it called?"

Fuji turned around and flashed him a brilliant smile, "Oh I'm sure you don't need to know, right? Ryo-chan?"

Ryoma hated secrets, and he was already making it his mission to uncover the secret of Fuji's book as soon as he could devise a plan.

"Well Syuu-chan," Ryoma said, feeling Ryoga's orange presence, "Do you have any books you recommend me to read?"

"What about this? Sherlock Holmes?" Fuji ran a finger down the book's spine, examining it closely.

"I've already read that. Have you?"

"It was interesting, though I do think Sherlock was a bit quick to come to sudden conclusions.

Ryoma paced down the many aisles of bookshelves, looking for a suitable book to last him the week. Not too long winded, not too short either.

"Hey, what about this?" Fuji handed tossed a book towards Ryoma, who caught it deftly between his hands. Years of tennis did demand high amounts of hand-eye co-ordination.

"Goodnight Gorilla? What kind of book is this?" He flipped through the pages.

"It's very good. About a girl who gets lost in a forest for five years. Read it if you haven't."

Ryoma raised his eyebrows, asking for more details.

"Well, if I told you everything, it wouldn't be fun to read it anymore, ne? Read it yourself."

"Yes, but I don't want to be mentally scarred after I do. What if it has—"

"Don't worry, it's nothing like The Princess Diaries, though I have no idea why you're so against it."

"I wonder why?" Ryoma muttered under his breath.

Another half hour of browsing through the library's multitude of books, and a couple of snide remarks from Fuji about his not-reading of Princess Diaries later, Ryoma found himself walking down the street again with his already heavy schoolbag now filled with a few kilograms of books. Just what he needed, his back broken. Fuji, meanwhile was already starting on the mysterious book, managing to keep it away from Ryoma's prying eyes.

"What _Is_ that." Ryoma nearly shouted in exasperation, stamping one foot on the sidewalk, very unbecoming of a sixteen year old.

"That is for me to know, and you, to never find out." Fuji smiled mysteriously, stowing the book back into his bag.

"Come ON!" Ryoma whined, completely out of character, "It's not that much of a secret!"

"It most certainly is. What if you mock my book choices like you did with Princess Diaries, huh?"

"I promise I won't, unless it happens to be Twilight or something."

Fuji froze, and smiled coldly, "Of course it isn't, why would you even think so?"

Silence, which Ryoma finally broke, "Oh my god, it IS." Then lapsed into peals of poorly disguised laughter.

"Something funny?" Fuji asked, icy voice convincing Ryoma that it was probably not a good idea to continue laughing. He coughed himself into silence.

"No, it's just that… Twilight…"

"It's not Twilight."

"Fuji-senpai, you're lying."

"No I'm not. Though the plot line is roughly the same, this story was written some fifty years earlier."

"So it's still Twilight." He giggled, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyon—"

"It's not Twilight," Fuji insisted, "The language used is much more… sophisticated."

"… Fuji-senpai, how would you know what kind of language Twilight uses?"

"Because I read it. I do not find it anything to be ashamed of."

"Then why did you hide the book?"

"To spare myself from this conversation, which, unfortunately, I have failed at. I highly recommend the book though. It's called Dracula."

"Dracula is nothing like Twilight."

"And how would you know that? Hm?" Fuji probed, smiling slyly.

"But…. But…" He spluttered, "I didn't read it, it's just that…"

"Just that what? Hm? Nothing to be afraid of, you just read Twilight, what's wrong?"

"I didn't read it!" Ryoma was adamant.

"Sure."

"I DIDN'T!"

"I believe you, Ryo-chan."

"REALLY! I didn't!"

"Don't worry, I won't tell," He grinned, probably locking this bit of information in his blackmail safe.

If Ryoga was recording this conversation for future reference, he was going to murder him. Take a knife and drag it down his godforsaken…

"AAAAUUUGGG!"

Fuji, laughing quietly to himself, pulled out his book and began reading. Ryoma was ready to bet his next _year_'s allowance that it wasn't even close to Dracula. Not that he could say anything without being publically humiliated. Oh joy.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ryoma was still feeling profoundly irritated with Fuji and his damn perceptive head by the time they reached his house. Without a second glance behind him, he stormed into the compound, not unlike his mother the day before, and moved to swing the door shut. Something seemed to have caught on the latch, and Ryoma failed to hear the satisfyingly loud door-slam.

"What?" Ryoma said, voice low and dangerous.

"Love you Ryo-chan!" Fuji smiled his usual smile and walked off, still reading his stupid book.

"What the hell… Love you too?" What was he supposed to say?

Fuji stopped in the middle of the pavement and turned, still smiling, "Same to you, Ryoma."

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Fine, I think I have just established myself as a big liar.

This is not the last chapter. I just love to drag things out by adding stupid unnecessary details that I don't know are unnecessary until someone tells me. There probably won't be any more updates for around 3 or so weeks because I'll be in china ;) God knows if my grandmother's house has internet or not… but if it does have, then maybe sooner (duh)

Yay! I have roots everywhere

I hope you guys have figured out in what kind of scenario Fuji uses Ryoma and Ryo-chan. eheh… I myself felt it was cute if he could use both, so I just decided to do it like that.

Oh and **NO OFFENCE TO PRINCESS DIARIES AND TWILIGHT FANS**! I simply picked the two most aimed-at-females series that I could think of. Chick flicks? Yeah, chick flicks. Funny, I haven't read either of them. I should…

Goodnight gorilla, is one of my childhood favourites (google it). … obviously not a children's' book in this context though…

Haha, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you EVERYONE who has read and alerted, favorited and reviewed! GRACIAS!


	4. Chapter 4

EFF YOU HOUSE! THERE IS NO INTERNET! HOW ON EARTH CAN I LIVE WITHOUT INTERNET OH DAMN.

I WILL START ON THIS CHAPTER OF FTINOL. HAHA

I'll take this internet-less situation with a calm, and cool head. Calm. Cool. Calm. Cool.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH NO INTERNET HOWWWW? HOWWWW? (oops, Mom is staring...)

I can't believe that I can spend the first eleven years of my life without internet and suddenly I can't survive three weeks without it.

Screw it. Thanks everyone! I can't believe that people actually are reading this story. Okay, I believe it because I posted it online, but you guys just make me so HAPPY with all your F! A! R! (favourites, alerts, reviews … yes, lame)

Ohmigod, go and FAR and you'll go FAR!

… airplane food has gotten to my head. (don't eat the carrots, they taste like rubber)

Well, I'll post this up after I have finished It and manage to get into a café or something with free WiFi, then I'll just hop in and buy a coffee and take up useless space. Unfortunately, this place doesn't seem to have cafes with free WiFi.

This authors note is getting super long, so I'm just gonna stop now.

Yes.

ENJOY! MON MAGNIFIQUE HISTOIRE! (google translate is better than babelfish. Just for those egoistical people who don't want to say it in a language two billion of the world can understand)

* * *

"You're leaving now?"

"Yes, I TOLD you Fuji-san was THE ONE. Told you, told you!"

"Ryoga, could you at least pretend to be sad to leave?"

"Why? I _am_ sad, am I not?"

"Not the way I see it, no."

"I still was the one who told you. You and Fuji-san are so in LURVE."

"Yes."

"HE makes you HAPPY!"

"Stop gloating."

"Until you admit it!"

Ryoma snapped. "HE MAKES ME SOOOO HAPPY."

"See?" Ryoga was positively glowing with self importance and pride. Understandable, it was his first job, but it didn't make him any less annoying.

"I see."

"And I was the one who told you! I knew it from the start! Well, actually it was the watch, but still, I KNEW IT!"

"Watch."

"YUP! Boss gave it to me! Said I would do a even better job if I had it."

A watch? Ryoma had never heard of _that_ in his brief Ryoga episode. True, he had never asked Ryoga about his line of work, but was he supposed to? Expected to? Since the book incident he had never wanted anything to do with Ryoga and his weirdness. But this watch seemed worth finding out about…

"Watch?"

"Oh right, I never told you about it. Don't tell anyone, okay? It's boss's little secret," he winked, "You see?" He lifted up his sleeve, revealing a blood red watch with yellow spots. The clock face was a pale, robust pink, with the numbers replaced with Ryoma's and Fuji's initials, "Boss said I was the only one who has it," he grinned, "I got your names in when I first saw you, and if the face turns pink, then it's good!"

"If the face turns pink."

"Yep, then there's LOVE IN THE AIR!" Ryoga bounced.

"Oh." Well this completely changed everything… There was most definitely no LOVE IN THE AIR with him and Fuji. Not at all.

"Okay, we're here." Ryoga held his arms akimbo and looked up at the tree.

"So how are you going to go back again."

"Just up the tree I supposed, I was told to go back the way I came, and I came by the tree… so…" He hopped up and grasped a branch, hoisting his body up and wrapping his legs around the wood. Looking down, Ryoga saw Ryoma's confused face staring back at him, "Aww, sad to see me leave?"

"You wish."

After a bit of struggle, Ryoga managed to get into a standing position on the branch that looked much too thin to support his weight. It creaked, and Ryoma immediately jumped away from the branch's immediate area.

"Hey, I don't see the portal," Ryoga's search displaced quite a large number of leaves, a few of which landed in Ryoma's hair.

"If you don't mind, could you make this process simple, at least?"

"If I could, I would, but I can't!" More rustling of leaves. Ryoga grunted, pushing various twigs out of his face.

"Hey, Ryo-chan, what's up?"

"Oh," Ryoma squinted up at the tree, "Ryoga's just… OH! Fuji-senpai! Ryoga's just… just…"

"Hey, something wrong down there?"

"Have you found the tennis ball yet Ryoga?"

"What tennis ball? Ryoma?" Ryoga's face peeked out from a few layers of foliage, "Oh! Fuji-san! Um, I can't find the tennis ball, Ryoma."

"You have a leaf in your hair, Ryo-chan."

"Don't call me that," Ryoma scowled as Fuji leaned over to pluck it out of his hair.

"Oh you guys are just so lovey dovey it's so cUUUTAAAHHH!" The effort of bending over severely threw off Ryoga's centre of gravity, and now he lay, unharmed but disorientated, on the grass.

"So Ryoga," Ryoma said, his eye twitching uncontrollably from Fuji's arms snaking around his body, "What are you going to do about the tennis ball?"

"Well, it's only in the tree, so I have to wait till I can get to it."

"Ryoga-kun, when are you leaving?" the smile on his face was unreadable.

"After I get the tennis ball," Ryoga grunted, seemingly unaffected, hooking his knees over a branch and getting back on the tree.

"Ryoma, could you come over a sec?"

"What?"

"Oooh! A Lover's private conversation, how am I to intrude?" Ryoga yelled from his place on the tree.

"Ignore him, just ignore him," Ryoma muttered, pulling Fuji away from the tree.

"Ryoma, my hand will be pulled off if you continue like that."

That's the idea.

_Love is in the air_. Ryoga's words echoed around his head. Then suddenly, he threw down Fuji's hand as if it was white hot iron.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing!" _If the face turns pink, then it's good._

_Then there's love in the air_.

Love.

"Nothing, you asked for a moment?" Ryoma brushed his bangs out of his pink face.

"Yes, I was asking you when Ryoga was going to leave."

"Ryoga? Leaving? Oh yes! He's supposed to leave right now, but he wants his tennis ball."

"Right now?"

"Yeah…"

"Well then, want to go on one last date?" Fuji grinned.

"Date. I thought we already ta-"

"Not exactly a date, I just want to experiment on how many laps Tezuka will give to us for skipping."

"Very smart."

"Care to join me? I do need a larger sample size than one. Maybe two would suffice."

Was this worth facing Tezuka's wrath for?

"I bet sixty."

"I bet hundred."

"Well what are your stakes, Fuji-senpai?"

"If I lose, I'll have to play a match against you."

"You'll play seriously?"

"If the situation calls for it." Fuji smiled.

"But what if a situation never occurs?" Ryoma countered.

"Then make one. What are your stakes then, Ryoma?"

"If I lose… I'll have to play a match against you."

"Then it wouldn't be quite fair Ryoma, seeing as both of us are going to have to play a match whether or not we win or lose."

"That's the general point."

"Well I think you should change your stakes. How about… watching _Heaven Almighty_ with me again?"

"NO. Nonononono."

"Well then, that's perfect!"

"WHAT?"

"You don't want to do it, so it makes the perfect forfeit. And I'll be with you."

"That only makes it worse."

"Did you say something, sorry, I didn't quite catch it, care to repeat it?" Fuji's voice dripped with pure malice.

"No, I didn't say anything."

"Funny."

* * *

"Um, Fuji, can I raise it to eighty?" They were currently squashed behind a bush by the tennis courts, looking down at the courts through the holes made by the leaves in the shrubbery.

"No, you can only bet once, remember, Ryoma?"

"But… that was before I saw…" Tezuka. To the untrained eye, he probably looked the same as ever, but Ryoma could tell that he was plucking his strings a little more violently than normal, and his 'don't touch me' bubble had expanded at least five times the original size.

"Well, that's life, Ryoma."

"But…"

"Let's go now. Ryoma, you can go home and help Ryoga pack."

"Yes… pack…" He was still slightly daunted by the prospect of having to endure two hours and twenty six minutes of _Heaven Almighty_ again. Again. Two hours, twenty-six minutes.

Somebody save him.

"See you tomorrow, Ryo-chan!"

Ryoma walked back home in a daze, still not quite accepting the fact that he was going to have to watch people killing themselves and a couple of others for a guy named Ryoma and someone else called Syuusuke.

Wow. Ryoga sure knew his choices.

* * *

Ryoga had left that night. With his watch and everything. Books.

Well this was just amazing. He had woken up in the morning expecting to have an overenthusiastic Ryoga bouncing him out of bed, but _no_. There was a note left for him though. He read it over again, guilt washing over him in waves. He didn't even get the chance to push him up that stupid tree. Though it was Ryoga's fault for not waking him up.

_Hey, wassup Ryoma! I know when you read this I'll be gone, but tis okay!  
I couldn't wake you up, so I decided to let you sleep (You sleepyhead...)_

_GOOD LUCK WITH FUJI-SAN! He's a real good catch. I think my next subject is in America. Boss just sent in the name and it sounds distinctly American. Dunno. Well, I guess we'll never see each other again… I kind of like this form though (you have a nice body *Wink*) so I'm just gonna keep it like this on other jobs. _

_So if you see anyone looking exactly like you, feel free to come up and say hi. Of course, I'll always look sixteen, so I guess… Meh._

_You'll still recognize me, I'll promise…_

_Well, toodles!_

_Ryoga_

Ah Ryoga. Just like him to be so chipper.

Not that he was going to… miss that chipperness or anything. Yeah right, like that was ever going to happen.

* * *

"Fuji! Echizen! Come over here!" Tezuka barked out to them the next day during morning practice.

"Yes, Tezuka? You called?" Fuji asked jovially, almost as if he _didn't_ know that they were just about to face impending doom.

"Fuji, why were you not present during training yesterday?" Tezuka asked, in a voice that promised immense pain if not answered with a valid reason.

"There was training?" Fuji feigned surprise, "Oh my, I must have forgotten, apologies, Tezuka."

"One hundred laps."

Ryoma's stomach lurched. Oh _Heaven Almighty_. Why? Why was it always him?

"And you, Ryoma? I trust you have a satisfactory explanation?"

"Well… my brother, Ryoga was leaving for America yesterday night, so I helped him pack."

"You still should have informed me about it. Sixty laps."

Sixty? Did Tezuka just say sixty? Maybe there was hope after all.

"So Ryoma, I guess we were both wrong."

"No, we were both right, so we don't have to do the forfeits."

"Saa… I think we should do both forfeits."

"None." Giving up one game with Fuji was better than going through _Heaven Almighty_ again. That was for sure.

"Both." Fuji's now open eyes glinted with unimaginable evil.

"Fine!" Ryoma sprinted ahead of Fuji, "What_EVER_ you want."

Fuji caught up with him effortlessly, "So you don't want to?"

"Fuji-senpai, do I look like I want to watch _Heaven Almighty_ again?"

"No. Oh, I get it now. So how about we watch something else? Like _Sleepless in Seattle_? I think they just dubbed it in Japanese. Should be interesting, ne?

Ryoma stopped running, defeated, "_Heaven Almighty_ it is."

Fuji's smile widened.

* * *

Ryoma hated Fuji. Oh how he _Loathed_ that _hair_, those _eyes_, that _mouth_, that _nose_, that _neck_, that—

"Oh Ryoma, isn't it nice? There're so many people!

"Yes. How sweet."

His game with Fuji had ended in downpour. Ryoma wanted to curse, to swear, to punch the living daylights out of everyone who wasn't just as frustrated and absolutely FURIOUS as him. Fuji, for instance.

"Thank god I pre-ordered the tickets, ne?"

"Yes. Thank you." Ryoma's voice cracked with the sheer effort of not lashing out.

"No no, Ryoma, I'm not god. I'm merely human, though I'm quite flattered that you—"

"Just let me go buy the popcorn."

He selected the popcorn that provided the largest tub, fisting handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. This wasn't going to end well. No it wasn't. But at least now he could at least sustain a semblance of sanity now that he had his popcorn tub. What did he do to deserve this? If makeshift love was supposed to be this harsh, he was never going to go through the real deal.

"Extra large again, Ryoma? It's not healthy, you know."

"This entire movie thing isn't healthy. I could get cancer from the radiation from the screens."

"I get your point."

"I wasn't trying to make a point."

"I still got it, we'd better hurry if we don't want our seats stolen, Ryo-chan."

"Ryoga isn't here, so don't call me that."

"But it sounds so cute! Just like Ryo-chan."

"To you, but _some people_ don't like it."

"They have no taste then?" Fuji remarked offhandedly, leaning over and grabbing a palmful of popcorn.

The movie began. Time to shut his brain down. Now what a lovely beige colour the popcorn was. Now it was blue, illuminated by the screen. This bit of popcorn had barely popped out of its skin. Now it looked like a rose.

"_Love._"

This popcorn had caramel on one half of it, and it was quite round. Ryoma threw it into the air, catching it between his teeth and swallowing it.

Ryoma wondered if he could break un-popped popcorn kernels with his teeth.

CRACK.

He couldn't. And now his tooth hurt.

* * *

"Ryoma."

Grunt.

"Ryoma, wake up."

Fidget, groan.

"Ryo-chan, want a kiss?"

Smooch.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Do you?"

"Are you DAFT? I was asleep for christ's sake, you should have woken me up when the movie ended!"

"So it's okay if you're not asleep?"

"… you know, I'm pretty sure the ushers are going to chase us out."

"Let them, or do you want to get your head off my shoulder before they do?"

"OH! Sorry! I didn't know…"

"Hm," Fuji said conversationally, "you drool when you sleep."

"THAT WAS JUST WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW." Ryoma shot up, red faced and annoyed, stomping out of the cinema.

"Was it?" Fuji always caught up.

"Well, Syuu-chan, do you want a kiss while you're asleep?"

"… Sure, why not?"

Ryoma stopped walking.

"I hate you."

"They say hate and love are the same thing, Ryoma."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Did you just hear it from _Heaven Almighty_?"

"But do you love me?"

_Think pink_.

"Of course not."

"Then do you like me?"

"Sometimes."

"You know, like and love really aren't that much different."

"Well you fell short of love then." Ryoma pushed the half eaten popcorn into Fuji's arms, "There, yours, free. Now you can leave me alone. Ryoga isn't here, you don't have to pretend to date me anymore." Grabbing another handful of those devilishly delicious popped kernels, Ryoma pushed it into his mouth, other hand on his hip.

"Pretend?"

"Yes, it was to get Ryoga to stop annoying me, and now he's disappeared, gone to America, really this time, without even telling me, and I have no idea where's he gone, and now you can break up with me because honestly, I am sick and tired of watching _Heaven Almighty_. And I get this feeling I will have to watch it again if I continue this."

He grabbed another fist of popcorn, chomping on it with the air of a starving carnivore. Or perhaps a teenage girl eating ice cream out of the tub while watching chick flicks.

"So I can stop pretending then."

"Yes, If you don't mind, I have to go and practice tennis now, seeing as I skipped yesterday. Because of you, I might add."

"Well, if I stop pretending, you want to date me for real?"

"Of course I have to go, you think Tezuka's going to let me just not make up for… what did you say again?"

"Want to go out with me for real. Not an act."

"You want, to date me. For real."

"That's what I said Ryoma, wasn't that what you intended?"

"Intended for what? I thought I told you it was Ryoga?"

"Never mind." Fuji frowned. Had he misunderstood? But didn't…?

"Oh I intended to get Ryoga off my back. He was badgering me to date you. Says we were in 'love'. I have no idea where he gets those ideas from."

_If the face turns pink_…

Oh for the love of… there was no such thing as a pink-turning clock face love indicator.

There was no such thing as a cupid clone either. The subconscious he had never even known existed had reared its ugly, ugly head. Truly hideous.

"He said we were in, love." He held up his fingers and signed the inverted commas, expressing his cynical attitude towards this shallow emotion.

"He did?"

"Yes! It was getting a bit annoying, so yes, I tried, and I succeeded getting him away, and I guess it's worth celebrating, but he could have woken me up before he zipped off to god knows where."

He held his forehead in one hand. Never had such a foreign topic bugged him as much. Love, was just so dumb. Something teenage girls obsessed over while talking at sleepovers. Not for tennis prodigies.

"Isn't he your brother? Why doesn't he live with you?"

"Right… but he's a genius, graduated two years ago. I know what you're thinking, he doesn't seem like one, but supposedly all geniuses are weird and silly when you first meet them." It was quite a good excuse in Ryoma's opinion, that was, until Fuji had gone and backfired it.

"So why don't you listen to Ryoga's… genius advice, and see if we, can work out?"

"…"

"Hm?"

If there was something to Ryoga's pink clock face, then what was he supposed to think, that he actually… loved? Fuji? Preposterous… and at the same time… so…

Possible? Was it possible? He had no way of knowing until…

"One week, trial."

"You wound me, Ryoma, making me sound like a beauty product."

"Aren't you? If you would excuse me, I have tennis to get to. Goodbye."

"Well, I guess I'd better go and train as well. I still owe you a game after all… Street courts with me?"

"Whatever."

"It's a date then."

Ryoma took in a deep breath of fresh air, "I won't even attempt to answer that."

"You say that Ryoma, but you just did."

* * *

"Not bad, Ryoma. Good game."

"I just don't understand," Ryoma clenched his fists, "Why we can never manage to finish a complete game." With plaster dust on his face and clothes, he was quite a sight to behold. To say he was angry would have been a gross understatement as he swung his racquet at some very shocked pedestrians.

"Must be fate."

"Not fate, someone's just out to annoy me. Why can't I finish a game? Why? Is it really that hard, huh?"

"Ryoma, you have plenty more chances now that you're going out with me."

"Even Kirihara, _Jiroh_, managed to finish a game with you, and _they aren't even in our school_."

"That's kind of the point, Ryoma. It was a competition. Tournament."

"I'm just so… so mad, that I could kill something right now." With that, Ryoma raised his foot and squashed an ant under his sneakers.

"… Ryoma, we can always do it again, what's the rush?"

"What's the rush? Next year, you'll be off to college, and there is no way you will continue tennis professionally, am I right?"

"Well, I am still calculating. But most likely—"

"You see? How am I ever going to get a game in, at a fair level, when out of five times I've tried to play a game with you, all of them were FOILED."

"Relax, Ryoma, if it happens again, we'll just play again, and again, and again. Because I'll be with you forever, alright?"

"… that's just so _Heaven Almighty_, Fuji-senpai." Ryoma stalked forward, fighting a stubborn blush spreading across his face, which was thankfully hidden behind the white powder mask.

"I know. I learn from the best."

"Yeah, like watching stupid love movies."

"Some of them are actually nice," Fuji said in defense.

"No they aren't! And I want a tennis match. Soon."

"You know, it isn't like you to lose your cool like that."

Ryoma shook his shirt of the white powder covering it, engulfing himself in a cloud of white smoke. He flipped his hair, unsuccessfully ridding his black hair of the contrasting whiteness.

"It isn't like me to be covered in powder and going out with you and watching _Heaven Almighty_. Twice. But I'm still doing it aren't I?"

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you have an alter ego split personality."

"Yep, and it's masochistic because of you. I think you rigged those games just to drive me insane."

"Ryoma, be reasonable, it won't cause you any psychological damage just not to have played a full game with me. Anything significant, that is."

"Once? Maybe. _Five times_? Definitely psycho."

"I'm glad you hold me in such high regard."

Ryoma ignored him, glaring daggers at some civilians who were staring at this powdery boy. "Construction. What construction. Nobody does construction on the street courts. That's why they're _street _courts. Wasting citizen's tax money…"

"Okay Ryoma, calm down."

"Calm down? Now that, has just got to be the funniest joke I have ever heard."

Fuji dropped his smile, frowning, "Ryoma, you're really starting to scare me."

"Scare you? Would anything scare you?"

"You. I'm just going to send you home."

"I can make it myself."

"You sure?" Fuji eyed the pale boy skeptically. His suspicion, was of course, perfectly reasonable. Anyone with half a brain could probably deduce that this boy was probably going to be the easiest target for real psychologically disturbed people.

"Yes. You can get me tomorrow for practice."

"Is that—"

"Yes, it's a date, happy?"

"Very."

They had their fifth kiss in the middle of the street, in broad daylight, one covered in white powder and the other hugging a pail of popcorn.

It was nice.

Could've been better.

* * *

IF you're confused with anything right now, feel free to get a hold of me and make me explain, because I should have explanations for everything, because I read it through, like 5 times? Ten? Dunno.

Yes, I know this chapter might be a bit too F1 speed, but… please? I will try to change it, after I get back home and away from my relatives who insist I am "too skinny" and try to gorge me on food. (for the record, my BMI is 20, far from 'too skinny', so they're not right to make me down 3 octopuses) It was an experience, I guess, but I bet none of you know how chewy octopi are. Not to mention how embarrassing it is to be chewing it in a high class restaurant that my (rich) uncle managed to get us in.

Now. There's probably going to be an epilogue… if it can be considered one. And I found this very nice Starbucks that has free wireless (!), so I'm going to make use of it before the personnel get wind of it and chase me out. Then i'll probably just pretend that I don't understand Chinese.

Hope you enjoyed this little story and took the risk of clicking it even though the summary probably deterred everyone. I got 32/45 for English summaries. So I'm… just plain bad at it.

THANK YOU! XIE XIE! GRACIAS! TERIMA KASIH! MERCI! DANK! ARIGATO!

Long author's notes probably annoy some people… sorry.

BYE!


	5. Chapter 5

This is the epilogue, the epilogue, the epilogue, this is the epi-epi-epi-epi-epi-epi-epi LOGUE! Epic~

How'djya like my new musical number?

If you haven't got the gist of it, this is the epilogue.

**yullenXneko-chans**! THANK YOOOOOHOO! LOVATT the idea! Kevinne! Smithies! She gave me the idea for Kevin Smith.

I'm sorry if I got his (kevin's) character all wonky, because even though I know of the guy's existence, I have never actually finished the entire anime series (only the manga) so I have no idea about his… well, general character. I did read his profile on WIKIPEDIA so I hope I have it down pat. But… if I got anything wrong feel free to tell me and make me feel miserable, because I probably can't do anything to fix it but put EXTREME OOC on the top.

**But seriously, tell me. **

Enjoy! And prepare for an end. Oh and by the way, the stupid romaji (Google translated) in the middle, I hope it isn't impeding the flow or anything. Personally, I'm against using another language I don't understand, because I'm just going to wreck it (the language and the story at the same time). but since the idea in this part IS to wreck it (the language) in the first place, I figured… hope no one is offended or anything… heh? And you don't have to know the meanings, it's pointless anyway. But if you do know, it's an extra, right? (insert pointless wink)

By the way, italics is English. I italicized the Japanese In the middle, because, well, he can't speak it very well.

* * *

"SYUUSUKE! Just because we're going out does not mean we have to go on a date every single DAY!" as if being jostled out of sleep wasn't enough, his sleep deprived mind had to come up with an entire debate to argue with Fuji why Saturdays, were not for dates; especially if he came to annoy him every single day.

The tensai had appeared on his doorstep yet again. Obviously, Fuji hadn't realized that he wanted Saturdays to himself. Though not having his privacy invaded would have been good enough. He had seriously considered felling the Japanese maple outside his bedroom window after seeing something quite… undesirable. After expecting to see hummingbirds, the face of your boyfriend staring at you doing homework was just _wrong_. As if he hadn't got enough stalking already.

"I assure you, this isn't a date."

"Then what is it?"

"I am bringing you to tennis practice."

"Tennis prac— OH SHOOT!" Practice had completely slipped his mind. One would have thought Tezuka would let them slack a little on the practices after the tournament but apparently, it was not to be the case. Not that he minded going to practice, but he was sick of Fuji's antics on the courts. It had been a full week before Momo could look at him without suddenly giggling. And he knew just what had set him off.

"Wait… just give me… five minutes." He slammed the door, zipping up the stairs at breakneck speed. By the looks of his clock, he was already considerably late, by Tezuka's standards, that was. wich

Pulling on his shirt and jersey, he stumbled down the stairs, juggling his tennis bag and holding his cap between his teeth as he tried to zip his three racquets into their designated compartments. Multitasking was not his thing.

"You know," Fuji said once Ryoma reopened the door, "I'm surprised that every time you see me, you immediately think it's a date. Do you wan—"

"No surprise there. It's because Every time you come, you're either dragging me to places I'd rather not be, or making yourself at home, in _my _home."

Ryoma locked the door behind him, since his mother was away at work and his father was on one of his weekly magazine store escapades. In other words, porn.

"Hold this for me, would you?" Ryoma dropped his tennis bag into Fuji's arms, adjusting the cap onto his messy hair, effectively covering the tangled mass of black.

"Do you ever brush your hair?"

"It's difficult. I once broke a brush, and I'm not going to go through the trouble of straightening my hair if it's only going to be messed up again during training." He stated matter-of-factly, tucking a strand into the cap.

"Lazy." Fuji commented.

"You're one to talk. Anyway, you don't understand that some people don't have hair that magically falls into place every morning."

"Hm, well at least… Ryoma, why is your bag vibrating?"

"Oh! That's my cell," pulling a chrome cellphone out of one of the pockets, he answered it, making a mental note to scream at his dad if it was him calling for more money for magazines. Porn. Whatever.

"RYOMA!" Ryoma immediately jerked the hand holding the phone as far away from his ear as possible. He had forgotten that he had switched the setting to loudspeaker, and the loud yell at the other end did nothing to help his already ringing ears.

"Yes, this is he." He changed it to handset, not quite wanting Fuji to eavesdrop on his conversation with this loud and rude person on the other end.

"RYOMA!"

"Who is this?"

_"UM… KORE WA TADASHI RYOMA KA_?" That was probably the worst Japanese he had ever heard.

"Yes, this is Ryoma, could you stop yelling?"

"_OH MY GOD, ARE YOU IN JAPAN? CUZ THERE'S THIS DUDE WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU, AND HE CLAIMS TO BE MY MATCHMAKER OR SOMETHING, AND HE'S TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH _SAMANTHA_! YOU SURE YOU IN JAPAN? DO YOU REMEMBER GIVING YOUR DNA TO ANYONE SHADY? AND DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY? HE TOLD THE TEAM THAT HE IS YOUR TWIN OR SOMETHING? AND NOW THEY WON'T LET ME DITCH HIM CUZ HE LOOKS SO CUTE_."

"_Wait… Kevin_?" Fuji was looking at him in interest, no doubt piqued by the fact that he was speaking in a language he only barely understood. Sensing Fuji's increasing snoopiness, Ryoma turned away, holding the phone close.

"_Are you Kevin_?"

"_Holy— you _are_ in Japan_!"

"_Yes. Glad to see you stopped yelling. Could you say it again?"_

_"Some guy says he's your twin and keeps setting me up with Samantha. I don't even _like_ Samantha."_

_"Ryoga's trying to get you with _Samantha_?" _Ryoma could have declared the world crazy on the spot. Kevin and Samantha was probably the most different people on the planet.

_"Did you say Ryoga? Is that what his name was? Do you know him? Cuz if he isn't your brother, I'm gonna push him off some steep precipice, I swear."_

_"Does he have some mad orange book, and—"_

_"YES! He like, just dropped from the sky! That guy is loony, I tell you. Tells me some random boss is trying to—"_

_"Just do what he says, Kevin."_

_"WHAT? Wait... hold on," there was shuffling of papers, "ANATA GA SHITE RYOMA HONTONIDESU KA?"_

_"YES I AM REALLY RYOMA, NOW COULD YOU STOP YELLING?"_

_"WHY SHOULD I DO WHAT YOU SAY, YOU'RE YELLING TOO!"_

_"YOU YELLED FIRST!"_

"Ryoma, is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is alright, you go first, I'll catch up later."

Fuji raised his eyebrows but walked ahead without question. Meanwhile, Kevin seemed to be engaging in a scuffle with someone on the other line.

("_Oi!" "Give it to me!" "No!" "Arrgh! You Imbecile!" "Shut it!")_

"RYOMA! RYOMA IS IT YOU?"

"COULD YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE YELLING?"

"BUT THERE'S SO MUCH STATIC ON THIS SIDE."

"THEN STOP YELLING! RYOGA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THERE."

"RYOMA! HOW'S IT WITH FUJI-SAN?"

"I'LL TELL YOU IF YOU STOP THE YELLING!"

"FINE! Have you told anyone?"

"They found out even without me telling." Ryoma grimaced, remembering the day Fuji had kissed him in front of his dad after sending him home one day. Not cool, especially seeing your dad do things you wished you hadn't seen him do. In front of Fuji no less.

"Awww, that's so romantic, why didn't you tell me you know Kevin?"

"That's because… what are you doing with Kevin?"

"He's my next subject, didn't I tell you in the note?"

"The note? Oh. OH! OH! YOU IDIOT! Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were asleep, I couldn't wake you up! It's like you were sedated or something."

"That's kind of what happens when I sleep, you could have at least told me when you left."

"Anyway, do you have any way to get to Kevin? He keeps insisting that he is not—"

"That's because he, most likely, isn't. Have you even seen Samantha? She's nothing like him!"

"That's why 'opposites attract' remember? Besides, she likes tennis too."

"Yeah, and she's horrible." Ryoma was sniggering already, remembering the way that silly girl had attempted a twist serve, which failed, which landed her in the infirmary for decking herself on the head with a tennis racquet. Despite it all, it was hilarious.

"By your standards, everyone is horrible."

"Pretty much, yeah, I guess so. Could you let me talk to Kev for a moment?"

"Of course! Try to convince him, okay? Kevin! ... Wait, Kevin? Kevin? Hey? HEY! OI! KEVIN! KEVIN SMITH! I AM A FOREIGNER! YOU DON'T LEAVE FOREIGNERS ALONE IN THE STREETS AT NIGH— KEVIN! THIS IS NOT FUNNY I TELL YOU!"

Ryoma winced at the loud shouting at the other end. Ryoma could tell Ryoga was going to have a hard time fulfilling his task this time. But Samantha? Samantha of all people? He would have been more surprised if Ryoga tried to set _himself_ up with Kevin. Well, at least now he knew where to find him. He snapped the phone shut. No point dwelling on matters halfway across the globe. He had tennis practice to get to, and by the looks of it, he was going to waste half of it on laps.

It would be a daily occurrence, now that Fuji was his boyfriend.

He turned directly to a shrub by the road and declared loudly, "I wonder if that idiot has got to school yet."

"I heard that, Ryoma."

* * *

HELLO EVERYONE! THIS AWESOME HOTEL! THIS TOTALLY AWESOME RAD HOTEL!

Don't know what I'm talking about?

INTERNET! FREE WIFI MANZ! WHOOP WHOOP!

Yes, we got a hotel, because my grandmother couldn't stand us anymore. I can tell… we were a nuisance anyway.

Not really, I guess, the thermostat/heater stopped working, and well… general winterness.

Phooey. It was the first time I had three typos in one word (albeit a long word) because my hands were so cold.

I think I will post up random snippets that have only a tiny tiny bit of connection with the story… because some of IDEILE MELE GRAND cannot be fit into this story frame.

Heh heh

Bye! And thank you very very so very much to everyone who is seeing this thank you note. I love everyone, but I love you more! You finished this story! For that I am very grateful.

Thanks!

LOVE YOU LOT. IS THIS LOVE? OR IS THIS JUST SOMETHING OF THE LIKE?

_I'm trying to show__  
The way that I feel  
Yet words can't describe  
This love is so real. _

Hoohaa for clichéd songs/poems!


End file.
